Art wasn’t always something I found extremely interesting and relieving until I faced my first serious emotional downfall. For as long as I can remember myself I have a quite rebellious personality and a “troublemaker” reputation. In kindergarten I used to escape from the facility at times, in primary school I would goof around and manipulate friends to get involved in all kinds of mischiefs, in high school I began running away from home and began socializing with “wrong” people. One of the reasons, or probably I should say, the main reason for such a behavior is my tense and very stressful relationship with my mother.

I have never lived with my father and that had a huge effect on me throughout my life. My mother was also affected by their separation — it caused her neglect towards me. She never wanted to spend any time with me ever since I was about 5 years old. In my teenage years we began to fight and argue a lot. At some point, I spiraled into a depression which has been current up until now. I knew that mischiefs, drinking and other illegal activities won’t cure me, but only get me in a bigger trouble and cause even more severe anxiety. Therefore, I discovered art as a way to express my emotions and let those anxious feelings out.

In 10th grade I moved to California from Russia and enrolled at a private boarding school. I was assigned an art studio class where we were allowed to work with any material or medium and explore art in all its depth. Firstly I was not excited about, but as the time went on and I tried oil painting I completely fell in love with it. The process of investigating different techniques of painting, different brushes, different strokes, patterns, colors… Sometimes I even missed the bell because I was so engaged with this activity. By 12th grade I developed my skills pretty well and practiced oil painting almost every day for 2 hours. I painted two large paintings which took me a few months to make, because I am a perfectionist by my nature and if I enjoy the process, I would put all the effort to make the result as the good as possible. I got a serious award for one of my works which gave me an opportunity to display my painting at the Huntington Gallery in the county of San Marino, California. During the summer I also experienced video editing, filming, photography and sculpture, however oil painting is still my number one favorite activity. Since 10th grade, art of all kinds became a huge part of my life and any time I feel depressed or emotionally down, I always find a way to express my feelings through painting, editing or simply sketching on a piece of paper.